Living With An ADHD Spouse

How many times have you had to find your spouse's keys or had to remind them of an appointment they had to be at.  Well, if the answer is, "Are you kidding?  ALL THE TIME!"  Then you probably have an ADHD spouse.  Now, everyone forgets some things, sometimes, but this is more than the occassional event.  This is also outside of the "pregnancy brain" women get when pregnant when they do crazy things absent-mindedly, this is a life long behavior or not being able to keep track of things. 

Now, that we have identified you as an ADHD spouse what can you do to keep yourself sane?  Well, think about it as a way to keep yourself busy.  Trying to remember all the things you have to do, is cake, remember two agendas is a REAL task. 

Nothing in this website is intended to be an excuse for someone being lazy or uncaring, but as a spouse it is important to recognize the intent of behaviors before getting upset.  If you expect your spouse to pick up your child after soccer practice at 5 pm just because it is a parents responsibility, it may be you that are making unrealistic requests.  If your spouse continually forgets things then asking them to remember this one task may be harder than you realize.  People with ADHD simply have a much harder time remebering things than others.  For example if you ask as athsmatic person to run a marathon without struggling for air, is the same thing as asking an ADHD person to just remember something.  Just as a person with asthma has lungs that constrict when pushed, a person with ADHD has a brain that races and has a hard time moving information into storage.  So unless your spouse is on medications and utilizing therapy you have to adjust your expectations to fit what is actually possible for them.  Make use of tips and tricks that work for others.  If you find something that works stick with it.