How to advocate for you child

It is difficult to know what you should do and where you should go when you child is having a hard time.  Some parents get dragged into IEP (individualized education plans) meetings when they don't even really have a clue what the meeting is suppose to be about.  But it's ok you have come to the right place.

DIAGNOSIS

Lets begin with diagnosis.  Getting an ADHD diagnosis might come in lots of  forms.  You might get a call from the school saying that they think you should have you child evaluated.  You might have your pediatrician suggest it.  You might even be convinced that they have ADHD but no one will diagnose them.  As a clinician it is so frustating to see parents with child who have SEVERE ADHD, who have been asking for help for years only to be told that they can't diagnose the child because they are too young.  Some pediatricians and even some clinicans refuse to diagnose a child under the age of six.  They are especially unlikely to prescribe medications under that age.  But just because someone won't diagnose your child, doesn't mean that your child doesn't have ADHD.  In most situations a child with ADHD under the age of six may have some extra hyperactivity and maybe some  inattention, but it might not be something that is bad for your child or family.  You can give your child extra time outside to burn off some energy, or you can structure your home to help them be more successful at home, but it isn't hurting anyone to not have a diagnosis nor medication.  But... there are some cases in which the child is being kicked out of daycare, after daycare, or suspended from kindergarten (yes, it happens).  These extreme cases are the ones where mom and dad should not rest.  You need to ask questions of your providers like: Have you EVER diagnosed a child this young with ADHD?  Do you believe children this young can be ADHD?  How comfortable are you with using medications beyond the standard recommendations and approvals?  If your providers are telling you that they don't diagnose kids under 6 with ADHD, or that they don't believe it, that is a bad sign.  If a doctor doesn't want the liability that using medications differently then recommended or will only use medications as they are originally approved for then this is a great time to seek other providers.  If your doctor won't refer you to another provider or you are limited by your insurance, call your insurance company.  Ask for a list of all providers in the area that work as psychiatrists or psychiatric nurse practiconers.  If you are still at a loss for providers, i.e., there are no more in your area or none that will diagnose, then call your local crisis line for help. 

EDUCATION

Once you have a diagnosis, or if you have had one for a long time, you have to learn to navigate the ever changing educational system.  If your child is attending a private school then the smaller size classes will probably allow for a better learning experience for your child in that they will have more one-on-one attention which will keep his attention longer.  But those children who are in the public education system or those who are in private schools but are still struggling, are going to need parents to advocate for them.  The IEP process can be very time confusing and time consuming.  Most school psychologist have more work than they can complete and beginning the process for a new IEP on a kid will take a lot of work on their part, therefore it may be to their advantage not to do an IEP in general.  So while it may be very important for you to have your child on an IEP, your level of urgency maynot be the same as the schools.  If the child is doing well in school it is often not going to benefit them too much to have an IEP added, and it may create unforseen problems in his future.  If your child is failing classes and doing very poorly on tests then an IEP is warranted and can offer your child more time on tests or more days to do homework assignments, or even less homework assigned.  It is hard to say what plan the team will come up with, but as a parent you must be aware of all the intracacies of the IEP process.  There are lots of resources and people who can help you advocate, but the information can be arduous to go through.  If you have a therapist you are working with ask if they can accompany you, help you understand the system in your area or read the IEP after it is completed.